Guess what?
I'm going on a mission trip to Galveston, Texas tomorrow! I'm heading with my youth group to do ministry work by doing hurricane relief and a VBS-like program. I'm trying to get excited, but I don't really feel like I'm going on a mission trip. Hopefully when we get there, the excitement will kick in. If you're reading this, you could definitely pray for our group as we're working down there for the next week. Pray for our safety as we travel the 18 hours from SoDak to Texas and spend the week working on houses. Pray for unity within our team, that we would get to know each other better and each come back with a life-changing experience.

So far, on my summer to-do-list, I'm doing pretty decent. I've read a book, finished reading the New Testament, learned "the call" by Regina Spektor on piano, had a sleepover, knit a headband AND blogged once every 2 weeks (at least as of now). I feel pretty good. Maybe I'll have to write a bigger list next time.

Still on my list to do this summer is dance, write a song, learn more chords on the piano, and listen to one conversation without distractions. Blogging every 2 weeks is kind of a continuous one, so that's not completely off the list...

My sleepover with one of my best friends was awesome. I forgot how good it felt to laugh so hard that your sides ache and tears are running down your face. Very refreshing. It's such a wonderful feeling knowing that you can be completely ridiculous around someone because they're just as weird as you. :)

laughter is

contagious,

refreshing,

restoring,

enjoyable,

rejuvenating,

one of the best feelings in the world.

Hey God.
I miss you. Can we hang out? Like all the time? :) Sometimes I can totally feel you. But right now, I feel like I have to try so hard to remember what you're like. I'm not complaining. At least I'm not trying to. And I am so grateful for all the greatness you have shown me. I am a little scared, though. I know life won't always bee this good. Trials are a comin'. I know that. Please give me the strength to come out victorious. I suppose I wasn't given my name for nothing. double negative... :( I know you are faithful and always will be.

God, I don't really know what you want with my life. I place my future in your hands. What you ask I will do. I have all these dreams and big ideas of what I would like to do. I know you give dreams for a reason, but how big is too big to dream? Everything is in your timing, my life in your hands.

God, bring me back to a place of surrender, of a need for you. I try to get by without you. The really upsetting thing is that I don't even realize it. I want you to be a part of everything I do, of every action of my day.

Thank you for creative outlets that you've given me. songwriting, piano, dance, guitar, knitting, writing, and blogging. Please show me ways to use my talents for your glory. It's all about letting others come to know you and your love. I want to share that love but I don't always know how. Help me.
I need your help everyday.
Become real and personal again.
Speak to me through your holy word.
I love you.

Victoria Audrey

Summer 2010 To-Do-List

-make an altered book

(pages from an altered book I did this Spring)

-read a book (or more than 1)

-finish reading the New Testament

-learn more piano chords

-memorize how to play songs on guitar and piano

-dance

-write a song

-take pictures one whole day, wherever I go

-listen completely to at least 1 conversation, no distractions

-have a sleepover

-knit a headband

-blog at least once, every 2 weeks

So this seems like quite the list, especially with only a couple months of summer left. Maybe it will become a year-long list :) I would be happy even if I did just one of these on my list. I think making lists helps me get motivated to do something. It helps push me to try something new and fun and hopefully get something out of the process.

Yesterday was the 4th of July. We had some visiting family over for fireworks. Some of us cousins got an old blanket and laid out under the stars. It was so beautiful. The stars were so brilliant, they looked close enough to grasp. I don't remember the last time the stars shone so bright, or the last time I even took the time to enjoy their beauty and mystery. It's really strange how some stars that we see today don't even exist anymore, it's just their light that we see. how sad that not everybody can enjoy the stars like I can. One of those advantages to living in the country, I suppose.

I should go outside more often.

And get lost in the stars.

Today I was a tourist in my own hometown.

I had an hour to spend between things and I wasn't really sure what I sure do for that time. I was driving over to the library to maybe find a book when I passed by my dance studio. And I just had to pull over. I don't know why, but seeing the sign for my dance studio just made me stop and want do something different than my comfort of the public library.

So with my hour to spare, I decided how often do I walk around downtown and just "experience" what it has to offer? To be honest, I felt pretty silly. Here I was, walking down the not-so-busy main street with my camera out, taking pictures of things I see almost every day, and yet have never really stopped to observe. Some people drove by and looked over at me. Hey, it's a small town of 18,000. I probably knew some people driving by. I felt kind of funny.. but at the same time, who cared? I even went to a couple places that I'd never been to before. And I probably never would have, if I didn't have the challenge of doing something outside of my comfort zone.

It was fun. Just poking around- laughing to myself when I found some old Disney CD's at a bargain store, knowing that I would've bought them if I'd had some money with me-enjoying the sunny day-taking time to notice everyday places.

When was the last time you stopped to enjoy the normal things in life? Do it today. You might even have fun :)

Honesty, Insecurities and Lightning

If there's one thing I want to do throughout this blog, is be honest. And that's something I really struggle with. I have no problem being honest-on the surface level. I don't know how to really share with others what I'm thinking, feeling, going through. So I guess all I'm saying is that this blog will be a challenge for myself, to be more honest. with myself. with friends. with God. honesty


Our youth group worship team has the opportunity to play at our bible camp in the black hills. I've been looking forward to this ever since I found out, which was just a week ago. I'm playing guitar, my youth pastor is leading on her keyboard, her husband playing drums, my friend is singing and her brother is playing bass. I normally sing too, but was just asked to play guitar so I can focus on that. Sometimes I struggle singing and playing at the same time ;) Some students from another church are also playing with us so we have an electric guitar, guy singer and 2 other girl singers.


Tonight we had practice for that. I was really excited. I love being involved in worship. Our youth worship team drove to the other church so we could practice together. The set up of where everyone stands is different than what it is at our church, so I was off on one side of the stage. I kind of felt by myself. I guess I haven't felt that way in a while. Everyone seemed to be laughing, having fun. And for some reason, I felt I didn't fit in. I don't like that feeling. I suppose no one really does... I feel I've had enough past experience in this. I also felt insecure in my guitar playing abilities. Everyone else seemed to be rockin their instruments/voices, and I felt just average. I know I'm not fabulous at guitar, but I didn't even feel very talented. Like should I even be on the worship team? Shouldn't it be for more gifted people? Why am I not more talented? I'm glad I'm not singing, too, because I would feel like an even worse singer after hearing the other people sing tonight. insecurities

Tonight there was lightning as I was driving home. So beautiful! I remember one time when I was younger and was coming home when a lightning show was everywhere. I remember being enthralled in the bright and poweful lightning. I still feel that way. Lightning is beautiful to watch and also surprising, because you don't know where it will stike next, how big it will be, or how far away. I even pulled over to watch the storm for about 10 minutes. lightning

How all three of these topics relate, I don't know. Maybe they do, maybe they don't. I'll let you decide.

"Choice is the only thing we're given."


That is a line from the following song. It has stuck out to me every time I have listened to this song lately.

I really do believe that the only thing we are given in life is our ability to make our own decisions, our choices. No matter what we are given in life or lack of it, we will always have the ability to make our own choices. Even our own dreams and goals are made from choices we have made. And those are things that no one can take away from us.

They can also be affecting in positive and negative ways. One choice to reach out to a stuggling friend can be very positive. Choosing to look the other way when someone obviously needs help would not. Our choices affect our future. There are some things in life that we cannot control. But we always have to option to choose how we deal with the situations we are given. Our choices we make today help decide our tomorrow, our future years.


What choices are you making?

-positive or negative? lasting or forgotten?

Broken from the Start by Jon Foreman
Life is a gift like fresh cut roses
Cut from the branch and brought inside
It’s a slow contradiction that’s beauty in a vase
When the cords are cut that’s when we start to die

Lately death and life get so confusing
I can’t tell the difference here tonight
Lately every breath feels like I’m kissing death
And when time is dead I cease to be alive

If you hide yourself deep inside, deep inside
In time you’ve got nothing left to hide
There’s nothing left inside
Tonight, honey I am gonna break your heart
Mine was broken from the start, broken from the start

Choice is the only thing we’re given
For one will live, another dies
One road says hello the other says goodbye
And the roads that you don’t choose begin to die

They won’t pay a cent to hear you laughing
They might pay a little to hear you cry
If you do it long enough they might even pay attention
But they still won’t pay respect until you die

Today I'm thankful for...

*lip balm
*the sunshine
*purple nail polish
*strawberry smoothies
*personal e-mails